Turkey Day Romance

A lot of people don't believe Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving unless you spend it stuffing yourself silly with food, surrounded by crazy family members.

But why not make this Thanksgiving a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality, romantic time with your partner. If you can, try to skip all the stress this Thanksgiving and plan a special day (or at least a few hours) for just the two of you with one of the ideas that follow.

Cook a meal together for two: Cooking a turkey together with your your partner is filled with sexy opportunities.  You can nuzzle together while preforming cooking tasks like stirring gravy, and take turns feeding each other bites of marshmallows or other dessert ingredients. And of course, sooner or later someone will need to bend over to check the oven (wink wink).

Dine out: For those of you who think cooking is a chore rather than a delight, there’s nothing like enjoying a romantic Thanksgiving dinner out on the town. Simply make a reservation (request a table by the window), show-up and voila! Revel in being served rather than sweating over a stove or washing tons of dishes this holiday.

Stay at a B&B: If you really don't want to choose between which family to spend the holiday with, then get away together. You don't have to go far away.

Go somewhere warm: Or better yet, forget the traditionally chilly Thanksgiving and relax the weekend away, basking in the sun at a tropical get-a-wy. The trees may not change color in Florida or the Caribbean, but there is still a lot of holiday fun to be found there.

Watch the parade: You don’t even need to go anywhere to enjoy a romantic Thanksgiving. Sipping hot chocolate and holding hands together, while watching the Macy’s Day Parade can be just as lovely.

Snuggle in bed: Or don’t even get out of your pj’s! Thanksgiving is one holiday that’s made for sleeping in, so don’t hesitate to ignore that alarm for once. You can always TiVo the parade and watch it later.

Volunteer at a charity organization: For couples in pursuit of the true meaning of Thanksgiving, soup kitchens and charity organizations are always in need of volunteers. There are many needy people eager for a warm meal and friendly smiles.

Go see a movie: End the day by hitting the theaters to see one of the hot Thanksgiving flicks.

Most of all, enjoy each other’s company. That is truly something for which to be thankful. Gobble, gobble!

Twenty Something and Divorced?

You’re in your twenties and you've got a "failed" marriage to your credit. Now what?

The first and obvious questions are, “Why do we make poor relationship choices that are so blatantly (in hindsight) wrong for us? Why do our relationships begin with such deep passion and feelings of connection only to fizzle out in a few years?

Well, there are physiological factors associated with the feelings of “falling in love” that you might not be aware of. So, hold on to your hat (or your socks or undies) because this will explain a lot: The sensations we get when we fall in love are heightened by chemicals and hormones that our bodies release during the “falling in love” stage. It’s what is called “chemistry” and without wise and conscious thinking to balance it, those love chemicals can easily trick us and lead us down the wrong path, with the wrong person.

Falling in love is one’s yearning to belong, to bond and to become a couple. Most people are not consciously aware of what it takes to create a successful relationship and have an idealized vision of love that is based on the media’s version of what love looks like and their own dreams, expectations, and fantasies.  Most people fall in love with the superficial qualities and characteristics of another and don’t focus on key compatibility issues, like whether you have shared values, similar life goals, and the same relationship requirements and needs.

Newly smitten lovers often romanticize their partner, magnifying their qualities and explaining away their flaws. While they often get glimpses of each other’s flaws, they ignore these red flags because they are “high” on love chemicals.

As a newly single person, YOU now have a unique opportunity to take accountability for your life, by getting clear about who you are and what you want and need in order to be happy and fulfilled in a love relationship - BEFORE you actively search for your next ideal life partner. The work you do now will increase your chances of finding a satisfying and long-lasting love relationship. Put in the time and effort that is required, work with a relationship coach, read books on relationships and take relationship workshops - you are definitely worth it!

adapted from David Steele's Conscious Dating Readiness